In this paper, I map elements of self-construction that came into play as I pursued acceptance within the academy as an aspiring scholar. To explore my educational growth as a doctoral student, I weave together autobiography, expressed through anecdotal disclosure and poetic narrative, and social cartography, a research genre for mapping disputatious discursive terrain-in this case what I see as the divergence between the logic of erudition and aesthetic sensibilities, on the one hand, and the struggle between being self- or other-directed, on the other. To conduct this inquiry, I recall and revisit the 'private pole' of my upbringing constructed by disparate parental views of life and learning-the 'early curriculum' and the 'other curriculum' poetically narrated-in contrast to the 'public pole' of the doctoral journey itself. This form of artful inquiry is offered as one possible approach for others who may experience a sense of distancing or disorientation as they pursue acceptance in the academy.
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